Updated: Nov 9, 2020
It is important to ask your partner how involved they want to be in the wedding planning process. Even if your assumption is, they want nothing to do with it, it is still good to ask so they feel included. Below are the varying levels of involvement, discuss with your partner to see which best suits them!
All-in partners want to be equally involved in the wedding planning process and want their voice heard. This means you research and book vendors together, browse design options together, attend meetings and expos together, and so on. They likely have some ideas or visions of their own for the big day and that should be valued and considered equally to your own. In these situations, it can be helpful to divvy up who is “in charge” of certain aspects of the wedding. Although you each have an equal say, maybe assign certain tasks to each other for efficiency-sake. For example, one partner is responsible for researching florists and bakers and the other is responsible for researching disc jockeys and entertainment.
Selective partners want to be involved in the planning process, but in some areas more than others. For example, your partner may not care about the flowers, music, or design, but they absolutely insist on being a part of choosing the caterer and food selections. In these situations, it is much easier to assign “responsibility” in vendor research.
Sign-off partners don’t care to research vendor options, attend expos and meetings, etc., they just want to be looped in or “sign off” on any major or final decisions. For these partners, invite them to meet the vendor you’re strongly considering before officially booking, take them to visit your top two venue options before deciding, and let them review contracts before signing.
Hands-off partners just need to be told when and where to be and that’s it. They don’t need or want to know the logistics, will only go to vendor meetings if they must, and want you to involve them as little as possible. This can be great or frustrating depending on how you look at it. Great, because you get to plan and do everything exactly as you want with no compromise, but frustrating because you are dealing with the pressure and stress alone. Know that, most of the time, your partner being “hands-off” doesn’t mean they don’t care about the wedding, but instead feel they would just get in the way and be more of a hinderance than helpful. This is usually because in general they are unorganized, lax, and overall unknowledgeable about weddings and event planning. Most times a “hands-off” partner can be motivated into at least a “sign-off” partner role with positive encouragement.
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